My writing has slowed substantially. Today I wanted to write an essay called "Returning to 2016" reflecting on lessons we've learned over the past 10 years about activism and left-wing organizing. I also wanted to volunteer to help clean up litter around the local rec-center.
Unfortunately, it snowed today. Ever since the brain injury, snow means migraines. I have had a terrible incapacitating migraine. I spent today struggling just to take care of myself. I kept trying to think of what I wanted to write, and I could only get so far.
When I was evaluated for autism, they gave me an intelligence test. Autistic people tend to have "spiky profiles." We are very good at a few things, and very bad at a few things. I scored the highest in the verbal intelligence category. In fact, I am apparently a savant at it. On multiple tests within the category, I scored in either the 98th or 99th percentile. When it came to math, or social skills, I dropped to well below average. Writing is something that I have been diagnosed as extremely good at, to the detriment of other talents. Of everything I have done in my entire life, it is the thing I have always received the most praise for.
But, this is the point in this blog post where my head begins hurt, these days. I feel it now. About three paragraphs into writing, and the fourth paragraph becomes rapidly more difficult to focus on and complete. My head begins to pound and scream for me to stop. Because this is the remnant of a workplace injury, it is difficult to get in to see a proper neurologist who cares about my ability to write long-form again, and not just my ability to report to work for 40 hours a week. I have schemes to get there, but the wait list is long for an appointment.
So here I am, a hyperlexic Autistic savant, who cannot focus on writing for very long at all without the fog and pain setting in. Do not trip and fall at work and hit your head. Concussions are a big deal. It has been a year and a half now. I miss writing like I used to. That is the state of me and this blog. I have so many things I want to write, and they are all unfinished drafts, left off three or four paragraphs in. This is also why the weekly community roundups stopped.
I will continue to update this blog when I have something to post, but these are the unfortunate expectations. I have a disability making it harder to maintain, particularly during the winter. I appreciate your patience with me, for this. There is so much more, today, that I wish I was able to do.